about
im an eternally sad (at the moment) 18 year old girl from somewhere. i am in love with a 33 year old man on the other side of the planet who i have never met who does not know i exist and who will (probably) never know i exist. i have been in love with him for two years and my love causes me ceaseless agony
im writing this site because i have no one to confide in and i feel like i will explode. in my less miserable moments i will probably discuss things i think/like/do
this website also exists cuz i wanted another hobby lmao
ill expand this more (or delete it out of shame) whenever i stop sobbing. (edit january 6: the site is less terrible now. still being lazy)
questions and answers
"what are some things you like?"
- industrial metal music
- crooner music
- space sci fi (dead space is one of my favorite games ever)
- learning about firearm mechanics/mechanical anything
- crime history
- journalism (as a concept it interests me, ideologically i hate journalists)
- cute things
- e m cioran's works
- coding
- old fps games
- history+historiography
but none of that really matters anymore
"why the ferret thing"
4d chess way to refer to him. i promise if you know who he is its funny. also ferrets are very cute and i love them. for more elaboration see here (also with more ferrets)
"is he a real person?"
yes he is a real person he's not fictional or something like that. he is alive and he exists (though very far away from me, and i have never met him). my brother was also a real person but he is no longer alive. ive met a bunch of other people who felt the same way
"who is the brother?"
a then, and now always, 19-year-old man. we are not related by blood but i very strongly relate to him and i view him as my compatriate, hence "brother". i have no romantic interest in him (he had his own love), i view him as a deceased friend. he died because of who i love. its ok. he wanted it that way
"where are you from?"
us of a
"when are you from?"
2005
"who took the photos on the quotes index page?"
the guy i love
"what's your name?"
my name is generic and i dont like it. call me whatever you want though. my name or identity dont really matter
"are u ok"
i am normal and well adjusted everything is fine and being in love with him isnt insane and extremely concerning at all
"kill yourself"
no. suicide is sad :( if u wanna die get help there's a lot to live for. also that isnt a question
anyway
me, summarized:
